so... school has officially started. and in better news, i have a new Aperture theory. well, maybe not new to others, but new to me. here goes: The 'Turret Wife' song is about GLaDOS, aka Caroline. Caroline is 'married... To Science!', and the turrets are one of the best representations of science at Aperture (a symbol of them, if you will). GLaDOS is married to the turrets, if only symbolically, like a queen ruling over her peasants. with a (literally) iron fist.